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ben choo

The Unsolicited Advice Every Bride Receives: From Gowns to Insecurities




Planning a wedding is filled with excitement and, unfortunately, a lot of unsolicited advice. From gown choices to personal appearances, brides often face comments and suggestions that can impact their self-esteem and decision-making process. As someone who works closely with brides, I've seen firsthand how these well-meaning pieces of advice can sometimes do more harm than good.


The Shoulder Blade Story: Insecurities Amplified

One of my clients recently shared a story that highlights the impact of unsolicited advice. She felt insecure about her shoulder blades protruding more than usual and wanted her hairstyle to cover them. When she first explained this to me, she showed a picture of her back. Initially, I thought she was concerned about back acne, but her skin was clear. It wasn't until she pointed out the prominence of her shoulder blades that I understood her insecurity. Friends, family members had commented on her shoulder blades, making her hyper-aware of her appearance and leading her to feel self-conscious about a feature that was perfectly normal. People might think they are doing her a favour but are they really? Personally, I believe unless you have a very noticeable deformity, you should be fine.


The Pressure to Look Perfect

Every bride dreams of having the perfect wedding, but this often comes with intense scrutiny over their appearance. Society and media have set unrealistic beauty standards, leading many brides to feel they must look like models on their big day. This pressure can be overwhelming.


Unsolicited Advice on Gown Choices:

  • “You should wear Guà 褂; it’s more traditional.”

  • “A mermaid dress will make you look slimmer.”

  • “Avoid strapless dresses if you’re worried about your arms.”

These comments can make brides second-guess their choices and focus on perceived flaws rather than celebrating their unique beauty.


Extreme Measures for Perfection

In some cases, the pressure to look perfect leads brides to take drastic measures. One bride underwent multiple cosmetic procedures, including liposuction, rhinoplasty, fillers, double eyelid surgery, and lip fillers. While she looked beautiful, she also looked unrecognizable, losing her unique identity in the process.


Navigating Unsolicited Advice: Tips for Brides

  1. Trust Your Instincts: Choose what makes you feel beautiful and confident, not what others dictate.

  2. Set Boundaries: Politely decline advice if it doesn’t align with your vision.

  3. Focus on Comfort: Select a gown that you feel comfortable in.

  4. Embrace Your Unique Features: Celebrate what makes you unique.

  5. Seek Professional Guidance: Work with professionals who understand your vision.


A Final Thought

Unsolicited advice is inevitable, but it doesn't have to overshadow the joy of wedding planning. Your wedding day is a celebration of love and commitment. Embrace your unique beauty, make choices that resonate with you, and enjoy every moment of your journey to happily ever after.

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