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  • ben choo

Wedding Taboos

Updated: Oct 4, 2023

༺Wedding Taboo༻ There are several limits and forbidden practises when it comes to weddings. Because marriage is such a sacred and precious thing, couples are often subject to a lot of rules before and after the wedding to ensure their marriage is fruitful, happy, and long lasting. I referred to it as superstition, but for many elderly people, these are the golden standards to follow when planning a wedding.


1.Getting married on an auspicious date, so that the marriage is enduring and happy


To find out when is the most auspicious day (the most Ong) for a couple to marry, the couple and their parents must go to a sifu master and provide their birth date so that the master sifu may calculate when is the best time for them to marry. As a result, there are a few days in each year when a huge number of couples hurry to marry. Because sifu master almost always assigns the same dates to every couple.


( In my opinion, getting married on an auspicious day isn't enough to make a marriage work. It doesn't do anything, tbh. Otherwise, there would be no divorce cases. If a couple is already having troubles in their relationship, getting married on the most Ong date will not fix their problems. In addition, according to the master sifu, the most auspicious date in a year is only that few dates, and every couple tries to get married on one of those dates. You would have to compete for a reservation at restaurants, hotels, or wedding venues, for all you know, your buddies might get more than one wedding invitation for the same date; you'd even have to compete for which wedding your friend attends. Not to mention, it is the same for hiring your favourite photographer, makeup artist, gowns and etc. ) ps: hotels will jack up their prices during those auspicious dates


2. Pregnant women are not welcome in a wedding

Not quite sure why? but I heard it is something to do with two happy occasion clashing? If its true, why not think of it as 双喜临门 ( double happiness ). In some really strict Chinese weddings, even the pregnant sister of the bride would be forbidden to attend the wedding. In that case I would like to think of it as double happiness if you ask me.


3. Zodiac conflict with bride's zodiac

This concerns makeup artists. Certain zodiac signs are not allowed to get close to the bride, according to Chinese custom. Master sifu will inform the pair of which zodiac signs conflict with the bride and groom; as a result, anyone born under that negative zodiac cannot be in close proximity to the couple. The same especially applies for makeup artists.


4. No weddings in April and August

There are several festivals that are related to death or ghosts that are considered as inauspicious month which are Ching Ming Festival (清明节), Hungry Ghost Festival (中元节)

( To many makeup artists and photographers, August is a month for recharge. I usually go on vacation during month of August )


These are some of the many Chinese wedding taboos. Of course, the list of taboos does not end there; the groom is forbidden from driving the wedding car on his wedding day; if he does, he will have a difficult time making a living; and if there is a death in the family, the couple must marry within 100 days of the death or wait after 1000 days to show respect to the decease, and the list goes on....


Some may claim to be following tradition, yet there is a fine line between tradition and superstition. Tradition is a way of preserving culture, like the tea ceremony, whereas superstitions are more personal and not compulsory. For example, my mother, she is the worst when it comes to "pantang larang"; she is the queen of made-up "rules", you can't keep up with her since she will make up these limits as she sees fit. I mentioned to her the other day that her nose hair was getting too long and protruding. She stated she couldn't trim it since this hair symbolizes vitality and "chi." In other words, her existence is dependent on the hair in her nose? I seriously doubt it.


( just a picture I put so that the post would not look so bland, nothing to do with the topic )

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